Tuesday, November 18, 2008

A Guest Blogger


I normally do not allow guest bloggers, but one of my colleagues, A Beautiful Disaster, is a huge fan of New Kids on the Block (“NKOTB”) and wanted to share her review of their Friday night concert with the blogging world. While I am not a NKOTB fan, I decided I should not stand in the way of them pursuing their musical dreams. So, without further ado, take it away A Beautiful Disaster:

Hi, everyone. I want to share the best night of my life with you. It was a cool Friday night; more like Indian summer than mid-November. I was a bit flummoxed that instead of playing the Broomfield Arts Center, NKOTB would actually be playing in the adjacent corn field. But I was not going to let anything ruin this experience. In fact, an outdoor concert on a nice November night may be even a more perfect place to see them. Heck, who I am kidding. I would see them anywhere, anytime. Thoughts raced through my head. What songs would they play? Would they still be tight (note: I do not mean their music and singing; I mean their butts)? Was Donnie able to stem the hair loss by joining the Hair Club for Men? Would Marky Mark make a surprise appearance? How about Jenny from the Block (J-Lo) so that they could have a dance-off to determine who ruled the Block? Is the Block literally a block or a figurative representation of our consciousness? I popped a Xanax to stop these racing thoughts. As soon as I did I regretted it because it may diminish my concert experience, so I downed three cans of Red Bull.

The first opening act is The Osmonds. I was momentarily psyched until I realized it was not the original Osmonds but their third cousins. Then the next act arrives; it is The Partridge Family on their reunion tour. But wait, where is David Cassidy or Susan Dey? How about Shirley Jones? What, no Reuben?!!! We do get a juiced Danny Bonaduce doing an extended riff from Chinese Democracy. I was really impressed until I saw he was just playing Guitar Hero on stage. And the two young ones are there – I always forget their names. All I know is that those were some of the best tambourine solos I ever heard.

Finally NKOTB!!!! Here they come! The stage goes black. Ooops, that was just me; I fainted with excitement. They open with all their hits. That takes five minutes. Then they play all the other stuff from their albums; that takes three hours. But the ten of us in the corn field are not complaining. The band looks great, but it is hard to tell as there is no lighting in the corn field and the stalks keeping swaying in the wind obscuring the band. The last song is a ballad and we all raise our lighters. Oh, no!!!! One lighter sets a corn stalk on fire. Now it is a full blown maize blaze. One of the flames engulfs the few remaining hairs on Donnie’s scalp. Tragedy!!! I better run before I get engulfed. That is it for now. Catch them on their tour if you can.
Your music critic,
A Beautiful Disaster

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Don't Cry for Madonna


You would never think Madonna was in the throes of a nasty divorce by the way she looked and performed at the Pepsi Center tonight. She was the most energized person in a nearly sold-out crowd and that is saying a lot. Perhaps she has become inured to dying relationships or she has an uncanny ability to compartmentalize emotions. Whatever it is, she cemented her reputation as the best performer on Earth. There are acts who are both stellar musicians and stellar performers such as U2, but no one can match the magnificence that is a Madonna concert (and she does wield a nasty guitar). I saw her on The Ray of Light tour I guess nearly five years ago, and she only played one “oldie” then. Tonight, she played Get In the Groove, Borderline (perhaps the greatest reinvention of a song I have heard), La Isla Bonita (where the not-so-traditional flamenco was interspersed with an Ukrainian band which alternated between more traditional Ukrainian songs and Riverdance-esque jigs; and the band was led by 70+ year old fiddler), and Like a Prayer (which is now anthemic). The sets were gargantuan and featured a ramp (with a moving walkway) to a circular mini-stage that had a circular screen and its own lighting right above it). There were 4-5 mammoth screens on stage, a roving DJ booth with a stripper pole, and a vintage car that drove onto the mini-stage. There were also mobile video screens which featured images of Kanye, Pharell, Timba, and JT as if they were background singers. The show ran two hours and she showed up on time tonight. She never took a break, save for changing her outfits; hence no need for an encore. Lastly, she looked incredible, she looked about 15 years younger than her 50 years, she had amazing stamina (she jumped rope through one song), and the songs kept the crowd on the floor all night long. Quite simply – You Must Love Her.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Madonna reveals how she roped A-Rod


A Beautiful Disaster reveals her undying love for . . .


. . . Donnie Wahlberg. His noticeably receding hairline is of no concern to her. She cryptically mentioned something about doing a hair transplant with Elvis’ chest hair.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Someone should test this guy's competency . . .

. . . to be in Congress.
Republican Compares Obama to Hitler By BEN EVANS, AP
(Nov. 11) - A Republican congressman from Georgia said Monday he fears that President-elect Obama will establish a Gestapo-like security force to impose a Marxist dictatorship.
"It may sound a bit crazy and off base, but the thing is, he's the one who proposed this national security force," Rep. Paul Broun said of Obama in an interview Monday with The Associated Press. "I'm just trying to bring attention to the fact that we may — may not, I hope not — but we may have a problem with that type of philosophy of radical socialism or Marxism."

Madonna is in town . . .

. . . do you think ARod is as well? If not she will have to settle for Clint Hurdle (just kidding! I know he is a happily-married manager).

Distracted Disaster


A Beautiful Disaster's head has been in the clouds as her all-time fave band will be playing this Friday in a corn field, oops, I mean the Broomfield Arts Center. She said she will begin her vigil outside the Westminster Comfort Inn on Wednesday Night.

In Honor of Armed Forces Appreciation Day

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Your continuing source for the latest underwear developments



Not sure what market need is being met here; but without further adieu -- GPS underwear:

This product announcement has us searching for the proper quip that will offend as few as possible: GPS lingerie is on the market (at last!) for all those women who ... have a poor sense of direction?Yes, it's true, GPS lingerie has been introduced by Brazilian Lucia Lorio, who says her dainty garments are for the "modern, techno-savvy woman." This follows a great tradition of adding all sorts of odd technology to underwear.But, maybe these are really for insecure husbands and boyfriends who want to keep track of their gals? That's the argument raised by some women who say the new underwear amounts to nothing more than a modern-day chastity belt. (Question: Does adding a GPS unit to any item instantly make that item more ... GPSey? Discuss amongst yourselves.)Lorio says it isn't a chastity belt, since the wearer can turn off the device at any time – or simply keep the password to her GPS-tracking account a secret. In the end, a gimmick is a gimmick. At $800 to $1000 a set, we're going to suggest you stick with regular, cotton undies – and we'll stick with GPS for our cars, our pets, and maybe our kids. Of course, this doesn't stop us from putting a picture of a woman in lingerie on our Web site. Either way, do you think this GPS lingerie is sexy, or is it just a modern-day chastity belt? Or do you think this is just too silly? Before make your final judgment, please check out our gallery of other iffy tech-related clothing below, and let us know what you think. [From: BoingBoing.]