The Blog Acquires Curling Today

The Blog today acquired Curling Today, a magazine that chronicles all that is hip including the exciting, challenging, sizzling sport of curling (just under two more years to go for the next Olympics curling competition). The acquisition will enable the Blog to continue to be the pacesetter on such stories as the ARod/Madonna/CynthiaRod/Lenny/Guy love pentagon. For instance, CT learned that Madonna's music was the casue of ARod turning to the Kabbalah and renouncing his marriage. There may be some truth to this because I too am a Madonna fan who finds myself strangely pulled towards the Kabbalah. Check that, I am actually strangely pulled towards shish kebabs. But who knew that "4 Minutes to Save the World" actually related to the Final Countdown? But we must hand it to CynthiaRod who astutely quelled her feelings of abandonment by seeking comfort from Lenny Kravitz. Yes, the same Lenny Kravitz whose average relationship lasts 2.3 weeks. And poor Guy Ricthie who wants to continue living in London; understandably so since Madonna's music only attracts Elton John across the pond. But imagine the possibilities an ARod/Madonna coupling could bring. Together they could buy out the Steinbrenners and Madonna could be the Evita of the Major Leagues -- "Don't cry for me borough of the Bronx . . . " But seriously, what is next? Troy Tulowitzki falling for Miley Cyrus? Perhaps Clint Hurdle could fall for Hannah Montana and then there could be a Love Square that is really a triangle.

Pigeons are Stupid; So are Rabbits

The other day I was cruising down Broadway (ok you really can't cruise down Broadway) when suddenly this school of pigeons takes off from Civic Center Park. The problem is their trajectory takes the form of a prop plane overloaded with cargo. Suddenly I hear a "thump". A few blocks later I pull into a gas station and do see some bird-esque remnants. Unless that bird was on a suicide bomber mission against humanity, I can only surmise that it failed flight school.

Then a couple of days later a rabbit begins a jaubt across the road just as I am approaching. I slow down and move to avoid it, but the rabbit engages in no such collision-avoiding mode. Instead it picks up speed right in the direction of my front wheel. Now I do not know how this story ends, because there was a car right behind me so I could not stop and look back. But given its survival instincts I think it may be in bunny heaven right now (and I am not talking about Hef's Pad).

DC is Alive with the Sound of Music

As many of you know, The Blog has many grandiose ideas percolating his mind: dance crews, dance club owner, dj, MTV Programming Director, Real World psychotherapist, Dr. Phil with a full head of hair, to be a member of Denmark’s Supreme Court, a Phil Spector-esque Svengali to Scarlet Johanson (without the armaments and without the scary hairdos), etc. The latest is a musical, Nonlegally Blonde, which is the story of the NonBlonde Elle (“NBE”) who snags a coveted internship at the Google Commission (given the huge budget deficit, the government has started selling naming rights to its regulatory agencies; Google also offered the ability to ensure that no government document could ever pop up on a Google search, and therefore not exist). NBE entered the humid environs of DC filled with intelligent, fresh ideas, but soon found that such ideas wither in the sweltering heat of DC. After all, DC invented recycling with ideas repackaged as “change” and “hope” and “Marion Barry”. So despondent Elle retreats to an idyllic ride in a Potomac paddle boat, and happens upon stranded paddleboat passengers. NBE navigates them back to shore, against the raging Potomac current, and avoiding the trash thrown into the river by Nationals fans, but then accidentally plunges into the Potomac. She makes it back to shore by clinging to a floating tire and finds that the plunge cleanses her of her GOPness and she now sees the Jeffersonian light. She soon realizes, however, that even being an enlightened Democrat does not lead to any more effectiveness in DC so she returns home to her beloved Colorado and buys Bronco season tickets which include a ticket to ObamaFest 2008 at Invesco.

This musical will debut at the Lone Tree Center for the Cultural Arts (as soon as it is built) with tour stops at the Park Meadows Fountain and the Lakewood Lake.

Iraq Revisited?

WASHINGTON (AP) -- U.S. exports to Iran -- including brassieres, bull semen, cosmetics and possibly even weapons -- grew more than tenfold during President Bush's years in office even as he accused Iran of nuclear ambitions and helping terrorists.

This story raises many concerns. One, why is CNN using the term "brassieres"? Have we reverted to the Victorian era? Maybe they view Obamaian change as a reactionary movement? More importantly, will the "brassieres" perpetuate VBL? In which case, will this create an East/West divide that will move us further from the "Can't we all just get along?" point. Should we export Victoria's Secret thongs? Would a flying faux jewel lead to warfare? Second, why does Iran need bull semen? Are all their bulls impotent? Is bull semen a WMD? Is it a substitute for plutonium? Third, what is the use of cosmetics if 97% of the female body is covered? Is it all eye liner and eye shadow? Or are men big into cosmetics there? Omar Sharif did seem to have artificially enhanced eyebrows. Fourth, is this helping reduce our trade deficit? If so, should we export WalMart there?

Our Human Footprint

As I spent the past weekend packing to move to an apartment from my current town house and as I sort through all the items still in my possession from my residence in houses all over 3,000 square feet, and further reflecting on articles I read in my Catholic Social Justice program over the past year, I cannot help but ask -- how much space do we actually need? At its height, my family numbered three people -- did we need 1,000 square feet per person particularly when one of the persons is not even in 1st Grade. The simple and obvious answer is no. Sure, for the sake of sanity it is nice to escape to another room or floor, but as many of us know that is never a surefire means of escape (nor is the pretending we can't hear method). On the news today, there was a story of a family of four (2 parents, 2 teens) who sold their mini-mansion that many of us suburbanites have or had for a simple house that met their needs and nothing more. They took the $1 million left over from the transfer and donated it to funds to aid the hungry in Africa. While my downsizing is more a factor of the rising costs of supporting two households, there is also a rational appeal to it. I do not need to live in a town house. An apartment will suit me just fine. While not as large a step as the one the family took, it is a step towards proper allocation of resources in our world. These mythic mansions were built on unsubstantiated valuations and not in the value of the "brick and mortar". The wealth it portrayed was as flimsy as the drywall within. You can't take the house with you to the next world; you can take your conscience, however. And if Al Gore truly believes in substantive change for our environment, Tipper, Al Jr. and he need to make the same bold and courageous move that the one family did. I have come to realize that he is a hypocrite until he does.

Worthy of a Future Judge?

Very interesting article about a pending judicial nominee.

http://www.typepad.com/t/trackback/895477/30964886

I Was Assaulted By Dinger

Last night, as I was exiting Coors Field after viewing yet another pathetic Rockies performance, Dinger (note: I am not changing his name to protect the innocent) was walking in. A couple of kids in front of me raised their hands and Dinger high-fived him. I refused to raise my hand and commenced walking past him while his hand was still raised. He then proceeded to give me a pat on the back (I will term it a "vicious slap" in my complaint). Perhaps he recognized me from his "appearance" in the 1801 Lobby/Plaza (yes, there is no depths to which he will not sink). At any rate, I will sue him and the Rockies for a lifetime supply of Blue Moon or an ownership interest in the team.