Jesus to perform in Brighton

Jesus and his flock will be descending on a little town in search of a manger and/or Beautiful Disaster's house. Actually, his flock will be physically appearing at Heaven Fest – the largest Christian Music Festival in the Rocky Mountain region. It features 80 bands on 8 stages including such legends as Third Day, Skillet, and DA T.R.U.T.H. The festival takes place August 8^th. According to the organizers, "Heaven Fest will not just be another Christian event where we all have fun, go home, and nothing real has happened. Forget that. Heaven Fest will be an event where Jesus is given the center stage to do what He wants to do. And when it's all over, I ONLY want to be saying ONE THING. Simply; "That was God"."

This is the second year in a row that Brighton has hosted it. Why Brighton of all places, you may ask? Was that the only place they could find room in the inn? I suspect it is due to A Beautiful Disaster. Apparently she has taken on mythical status on the part of the flock because of her handling of a clandestine text messaging session between her son and a teenage girl. Recognizing, as the Catholic Church does, that text messaging sows the seeds of temptation, A Beautiful Disaster snatched the cell phone from her son, confiscated the cell phone, and removed the door to his room so she can always she what he is doing. It is easy to see how such actions have made her the hero of the Heaven Fest crowd and why they would want to stage their festival in the town where ABD nipped sin in the bud.