Cruel Summer

Is life governed by fate or coincidence?  This is the central conceit of the movie, (500) Days of Summer.  It also ironically has many links to my day and my life.  If you read my post yesterday, you would know that I mused on the subject of “one true love,” with me reaching a conclusion that it does exist but very rarely.  And that ended up being the theme of this wonderful, sublime, enticing, all-too-ephemeral golden nugget of a movie.  I won’t spoil any part of it for those planning on seeing it, and I urge you all to see it.  But I will not spoil it when I say it is not a love story, because it makes that patently clear in the best prefatory start to a movie ever.  But it is a story imbued with the question of love.  I also am not spoiling anything when I note that it tracks a relationship from the courting to infatuation to break-up to reconnection.  In this manner it drew eerie parallels to a relationship I once had with with this woman I thought was the “one”.  It was quite a short-lived relationship but one with flickering embers that burned for about a decade leading to an emotional reconnection a couple of years ago.  But the reconnection of feelings (and these may have just been feelings on my part because I did not ask and did not know if it was a reconnection; I did not ask if she felt something too; I did not want to know because I knew it could not happen, not at that stage of my life, so I willed it not to happen) also ended up being the extinguishing of the embers and she is now happily married with a newborn.

The breakdown of this relationship happened nearly twenty years ago and elicited the same response that the protagonist of this movie endures sans the drinking and degradation of his work product.  In the movie, the guy starts drinking and quits his job: I never reached such extremes, but I was in the throes of my romantic period and I know the frustration he felt at the inability of what felt like true love at the time to transcend obstacles both external and internal.  The “happy” ending is that I would have this “true love” feeling two more times, and for all I know, I may have that feeling in the future.  This, of course, suggests that there is no such thing as “true love” or that I am incapable of achieving it.  As an aside, Jung had this theory of the container and the contained, with the container in the relationship being the one who nurtures the relationship; to reach that level requires a connection at the deepest level, but it has been achieved, at least in literature (see the Birkin-Ursula  relationship) in Women In Love.

At any rate, a movie that leaves you churning thoughts in your mind hours after the movie ends, is a magical movie.  And this is a magical movie and not just because the utterly cute and talented Zooey Deschanel is in it. 

By the way, my way of coping with that broken relationship 20 years ago?  I made a mix tape which I called Disintegration in honor of the classic Cure album.  The first side (yes, there were tapes and sides back then) contained the saddest songs I knew and the other side contained the most joyous and hopeful songs I knew.  My theory was that you have to travel into that heart of darkness to see the light of hope; you have to open yourself up to deep pain you feel to begin to heal.  It is not an easy or pleasant experience but ultimately it is a rewarding one,

After the Rose . . .

My strategy with reality shows is to wait for the last couple of episodes to begin watching.  This enables me to dispense with all the preliminaries, i.e., selection process, eliminations, etc. until the core group is left.  I do this with American Idol, Survivor; heck, I even do this with books and films I know I will not have the time to read or watch (except for those I go to the spoiler web sites).  So, of course, with The Bachelorette, I was able to weave myself in at the next to the last episode and I did not have to deal with too-nice Jake or too-slimy Wes.  And I was treated to a real cliffhanger, or at least as close as to cliffhangers these “find your perfect mate” shows can get.  While I think Jillian did a terrific job of masking who her real choice would be, I do think she “loved” the three of them, and would have been happy with any of them.  I mean one minute she is sucking face with Kipton (literally the entire time they spent together on screen their faces were one).  But she chose the guy that was her best friend and made her laugh; of course, it helped that he was 6’2”, 200 lbs.  Even his dorky hair and “high school gym class” green swim shorts did not dissuade her nor his inability to rise to the occasion on their first night together.  But per the volcano imagery for the next date, I think they resolved that issue.

At the end of the day, this proves a fundamental point I have come to realize about love.  When I was in my late teens/early 20s, I bought into the love ideal and the “one right person out there for you.”  But as Jillian demonstrated, it is possible to experience love more than once and for her, even simultaneously.  I do believe for certain couples, perhaps 5%, there is the romantic ideal.  You can identify them as the ones who still like to talk to each other, be in the same room with each other, and hold hands after 20 years.  Who knows, maybe I will get to experience that one day even though my first shot at it did not work.  For those who have it, treasure it.  For love truly is a many-splendored thing.

An Ordinary Day at the Zoo

Saturday, I took my son to the zoo for the third time this year. And as usual, there was nothing extraordinary there, but I did see some extraordinary feats by some of nature’s finest specimens. Now we have all seen at some point a passenger sticking their legs out the window. When I was driving to the zoo, however, I saw for the first time a driver sticking her leg out of her window. And she had her foot rested on the left side mirror. I was amazed at how limber she was and at the same time a bit concerned about her ability to control her vehicle. Perhaps that is why she had a huge crack in her windshield.

Then on Colorado, I saw in the Shotgun Willie’s parking lot two beauties in bikinis doing car washes. If I did not have my son with me, I would have definitely stopped for a car wash as my car could use one and they seemed very capable.

Finally, an indication of the other end of Darwin’s evolutionary spectrum; I advise all of you to avoid the KFC on Colorado. Apparently it is a sit down restaurant as it takes 20 minutes for you to get your order. And when you ask for a status update, they have no clue who is handling your order.

Cougar Nation Rejoice

You are about to get your own beauty pageant.  I can see it now – Zac Effron as emcee, perhaps Perez Hilton as a judge.

Racial Profiling

Is racial profiling an issue in law enforcement?  Yes.  Is racial profiling an issue in Cambridge, MA?  Undoubtedly.  With that said, I think Prof. Gates was wrong in how he addressed the issue, and Pres. Obama was wrong to say the police acted stupidly.  Law enforcement officers are forced to make split second decisions multiple times a day.  They will not always act perfectly.  They will not always keep their prejudices out of their decision-making; they are human just like us.  This is not to say their decision-making should not be challenged or questioned, but if the person being “profiled” is not at physical risk or harm, the time to do that is not during the incident itself.  The damages to his rights, if proven, can be rectified through the legal process; the risk to public safety cannot.  If Prof. Gates was an intruder, the presumption of ownership and/or rightful occupation that Prof. Gates would have liked to have been applied, would have imperiled the ability of the police to control and resolve the situation.  Prof. Gates has had ample opportunity to protect his rights and raise consciousness as to the issue after the incident and that will usually be the case.  The ability to maintain peace and security does not usually lend itself to such after-the-fact resolution.  As a dark-skinned individual who has been presumed to be a member of the Islam nation, I know that if I am pulled aside in an airport security line, the best way to approach it is to cooperate.  Raising a scene offers no additional protection to me and only raises the likelihood that I will be further delayed from moving on.  I have every right to challenge the search at some later point.  I know the social contract protects my rights, but it does not protect me against every perceived slight.  And it does not allow me to dictate unilaterally the process as to how my rights are protected.

Athletes and Hotel Workers: Passion or Coercion?

I try not to cast stones in regard to sexual assault claims involving prominent individuals because I try to balance my concerns for the victim with the need to ensure that all claims are fully vetted in our legal system. So while I am a huge Big Ben fan, I will not jump to any judgments as to what happened behind that closed door. I am fascinated, however, how the Internet has transformed the issue of privacy of the victim. Reputable media outlets try to protect the victim by not identifying the victim. This protection has been eviscerated, however, by the Internet. For instance, not only is the name of Ben’s accuser now public (BB actually named her in his statement) but pictures of her are now all over the Internet. This made we wonder about other accusers such as the person who accused Kobe of sexual assault. Sure enough, her name and image is all over the Internet. In fact not only has she been identified, but some other women have been misidentified as the accuser. But publicity can cut both ways, and if the following disquieting video on You Tube is accurate, victims can use the Internet as a forum as well. Alas, this does not draw us closer to the truth; it only ensures that the rumors and questions and innuendo will continue to percolate.

Getting Real

Hard to imagine, but DC has never had a Real World.  That slight is currently being remedied as filming is ongoing in the capitol city.  Of course, a more entertaining DC Real World would be to put a mix of politicians and politicos in a house together and see what transpires.  Then again we get to witness that “Real World” daily on the front pages of the newspaper.

Meanwhile, the Real World Cancun rages on, and I literally mean “rage” as apparently one of the women is a “cutter.”  She also has engaged all the other cast members at one point or another in a fight.   She is so hated by the guys that they are trying to goad her into doing something that will make her leave the show.  They came close last night as she destroyed a glass divider in a closet.  But she survived the show without doing anything else, so the cast remains in tact (they have had people who either had to leave the show for good or take a break to deal with similar issues).  More conflict appears to be in store for the young “innocents”.

The Boys are Back in Town

I must say that I am quite enjoying the new Entourage season. While Vinny did need some comeuppance for becoming too much of a star, the show really clicks when they are living the high life. And Sloane (Emmanuelle Chriqui) is quite sublime. But, of course, True Blood, is HBO's real gem.

Bag Bruno

I saw Bruno over the weekend and all I can say is don't even go for the DVD on this one. I got into Sacha Baron Cohen with Da Ali G Show and primarily when he interviewed famous people who unsuspectingly thought he was for real. I then became a fan of Borat because he used a reprehensible but buffoonish character to expose the prejudices of even more unwitting prey. But on Bruno unfortunately he runs his schtick into the ground; it is simply a rehash of Borat with more reprehensibe protagonist.

I did see a good movie on DVD, Revolutionary Road. Sam Mendes recreates an American Beauty-esque landscape in which disquietude brims below the surface of seemingly genteel suburbia. But at its root, this movie is not about that dialectic, but the decay of a marriage -- plain and simple. Leonardo gives a solid performance, but Kate is the real center of this vehicle. A mesmerizing performance.

Hilarious Interview!