Law Students for McCain Spring Into Action

The McCain Campaign today announced the formation of a team that they feel will turn the tide in the election. The Law Students for McCain, headed by the Non-Blonde Elle and Joe Rove, officially commenced operations today. The “Law Studs” as they are called will be focusing on such crucial electoral issues as whether Mrs. McCain’s compelled entry into the Miss Sturgis contest by her husband can serve as automatic grounds for divorce and vitiate any monies to which Sen. McCain would otherwise be entitled to under the pre-nuptial agreement he executed at the request of his wife and whether they can enjoin Paris Hilton from calling him the “old, white-haired guy.”

Brighton Makes Landmark Bid

The crack Curling Today reporting team has learned that Brighton, CO has submitted a bid for the Summer 2012 Olympics. The Brighton Olympic Organizing Team (“BOOT”)’s bid, which failed to factor in that London has already been awarded the 2012 Olympics, was premised on the belief that the IOC would like to continue the trend of having the Summer Olympics in cities that begin with the letter “B”. Its slogan is “Brighton, the Beijing of the West.” The head of BOOT admitted he knew nothing about Beijing save for what he learned from “Where in the World is Matt Lauer” four years ago, but figures they can easily outdo the Beijing bid. Initial plans include building the Olympic Stadium around the Eagle Statue/landfill, with the stadium becoming the largest landfill in Colorado after the Olympics. Brighton will also build a sandlot field for baseball, again not realizing that baseball is no longer an Olympic sport. Instead of a swimming pool, the organizers said the Barr Lake will serve as the swimming venue. And the marathon will be run on I-85. No word yet on whether the Blog will serve as the greeter for the Games.

Curling Today Presents . . .

Curling Today welcomes the return of the Olympics although the real Olympics are still 1 ½ years away (CT is happy that the OOC recognizes the primacy of such sporting events as curling over such marginal games as baseball). To help engender interest in the Junior Olympics CT will provide useless trivia throughout the Games. Feel free to use them at cocktail parties to wow your friends.

First off, you may wonder tonight as you watch the taped NBC/CNBC/MSNBC/Oxygen/CCTV banter during the Opening Ceremonies (and it just won’t be the same without Katie Couric there) why the countries are not appearing in alphabetical order following Greece. Apparently the Chinese are ordering the countries based on the amount of strokes it takes to complete the country’s name. The Barcoloungers Association of America has lodged a formal protest over this because you can never know when it is safe to take a bathroom break. Moldova has filed a formal protest as well because they looked forward to being the country during which most toilets were flushed. Brett Favre has filed a protest because he cannot understand why not only did he not make the team but why he is not the flag bearer. But all these protests will fail because a love of stroking, as the great Billy Squier once noted, will trump all. CT will go out on a limb and predict that the flame will be successfully lit by the torch.

If I ever complain . . .

. . . about Denver traffic or weather again -- slap me (this applies to everyone but A Beautiful Disaster who may actually slap me). It has been in the upper 90s in the DC with the usual humidity which means you sweat even when you dream you are in Greenland with Al Gore examining the glacial breakdown. And it took me well over an hour to go from Gaithersburg to Tysons Corner during the afternoon in August! Rush hour here never ends.

A Slow Golden Fox?

When news filtered that the Golden Fox had gotten a speeding ticket from the GVHiPs, I figured that fit in well with the speedy aspect of the "fox" personna. Much to my horror, I discovered that she was pulled over by a cop hiding in the bushes. And her ticket was for going 36 in a 25 mph zone --- DOWNHILL!!! Which means she was probably "cruising" at 15 mph. Perhaps the Golden Fox is actually a Golden Turtle or a Gray Fox. The Golden Fox should relocate to NoBo so that fast South Suburban drivers do not have to slow down . . . in the right lane!

Paris Is Burning . . . Hot!!!

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/64ad536a6d

By now you must have seen the above video. Consider me back on the Hilton bandwagon (Nicki's too). And a Paris/Rihanna ticket may get me excited about this race.

Where is the Blog?

He is Gone Fishing!!! He will be back soon!