Dear Tiger

We are not stupid.  The most plausible scenario for you floating in and out of consciousness and sporting lacerations for what you admit was a minor accident at a low speed is that your injuries occurred prior to your entrance in your car.  And unless your dear wife, Elin, carries a golf club around with her at all times either because it reminds her of you or she finds it the modern-day equivalent of the Swiss army knife, the most plausible scenario proffered to date is that she inflicted the injuries on you with said golf club prior to you entering the car.  And naturally we will think that the timing of the National Enquirer article and said accident are not coincidental.  So if you want us to stop thinking the way we do, give us a more plausible story, or failing that, tell us the truth.  And yes, you have an obligation to do so, because a potential crime was involved and public resources were utilized in both the investigation of the accident and the transport to the hospital.