Hard to Say Goodbye

Have you ever thought of the sheer numbers of people who pass through your life?  I am not talking about people you see in the street or in a mall; I am talking about people you have some connection to, no matter how minimal.  You find yourself growing attached to these people or you grow attached to these people being part of your lives even if it is just saying hi.  One such person was one of the employees of the management company for my complex.  She also lived in my building with her boyfriend or husband.  She was always very nice and helpful with any issues pertaining to my apartment.  One Sunday she attended mass at my church with her boyfriend/husband.  I think they were “church shopping” and I convinced them that my church was a great church to make their parish.  I would see them periodically at mass.  Recently, however, whenever I would see her she was alone.  She also started attending mass on her own.  And then, a few weeks ago she started attending with an older couple who appeared to be her parents. 

Well today I found out she is moving.  When I asked her about her move she gave a sad look and said nothing more.  There must be some back story to her move and why her boyfriend/husband was no longer around.  But I will never know that back story as I will never know the back stories for the hundreds of people I have known in some manner in my life.  Their lives may be filled with tragedy or happiness, loneliness or companionship . . . .   These details I will never know.  But I know they are relevant to how they entered into my life and how they will exit my life.

I will miss her.  You want your life filled with kind people who are nice to you.  She by no means reached the level of a friend; our interaction was generally limited to brief exchanges of pleasantries or apartment-related matters.  But I had grown accustomed to her smile when she said hi.

I always find it hard when people exit my life no matter how limited the connection they may have had to me.  I grow attached to baristas, convenience store or deli workers, even the people who clean my office.  Recently the woman who cuts my hair unexpectedly left my life.  I showed up for my appointment one Friday evening and the salon, which she had owned, was empty.  All that was left were the bare walls.  I called and left a message but I never heard back.  I had just bumped into her the week before at Chucky Cheese.  She made no mention of her salon’s demise.  This woman had cut my hair for nearly five years.  She knew a lot about my life, and I of hers.  She had gone through a divorce and so she gave me a lot of advice on that.  I had followed her through various salons, even one in Southwest Plaza, until she got her own one in Lone Tree.  And then poof, she was gone.  Again I will never know the full story.  I did find out from the adjacent Caribou Coffee that her salon had been struggling for a while during the recession and that they finally had to close it down.

I will miss her as well, just as I will miss the others who have passed through my life – particularly those who enriched it in some way.  It is hard to say goodbye – even to acquaintances.