Someone Somebody Somewhere

OK, I guess it is only fair that I throw myself out there. After over 150 posts, probing into the depths of individuals, public figures and private souls, it is time to reveal some of myself. I am not sure why I decided tonight was the night to start, but it was triggered by a song. More on that later.

As some of you know, I make mix CDs. I have been doing this for about 23 years now; when I started they were mix tapes. For me these tapes or CDs were not meant as a form of seduction as they are for many people; instead I just wanted to share the wonderful music I have heard. And I have heard a lot. I started out with vinyl records and had hundreds of those. I think my CD collection numbers over 500 and that is after discarding many at the behest of my soon-to-be-former wife. And now I have over 1300 songs on my iTunes. I am a music addict; plain and simple. My ultimate dream is to be a DJ at a night club; a trendy one in a big city; one in which I hold sway over the masses on the dance floor below. But that dream has expired; at least any hope of it ever realistically manifesting itself.

So I do the next best thing. I make mix CDs for people and I spread the music that way. By the way, if you want to be on my distro list, let me know. They are free. One of the best tapes I ever made was called “Happiness” which ironically enough was made at a time in which I was very unhappy. I had just experienced a romance that was nipped in the bud, and as I am sure many of you can identify, there is no worse feeling. You are always left with a feeling of “what if . . . .” The tape reflected the manner in which I deal with sadness. Side A, I believe was titled Disintegration, which was the title of a Cure album that came out in the mid-80s. The album was distilled sadness, and, yes, it dealt with the disintegration of a romance with such killer lines as:

i never said i would stay to the end so i leave you with babies and hoping for frequencyscreaming like this in the hope of the secrecyscreaming me over and over and overi leave you with photographs pictures of trickerystains on the carpet and stains on the scenerysongs about happiness murmured in dreamswhen we both us knew how the ending would be...

Side A consisted of the saddest songs I knew, because I felt, and still feel, that to purge sadness you have to experience its deepest depths. Side B was then titled Integration because after you reach the depths you begin the climb upwards. You literally piece yourself back together again. So Side B deals with hope. And hope for me was reattaching myself to my romantic ideals. For me, music really helped articulate and conceptualize what I was searching for. And just like everyone else I was searching for that Someone Somewhere in Summertime.

Stay, I'm burning slow
With me in the rain, walking in the soft rain
Calling out my name
See me burning slow
Brilliant days, wake up on brilliant days
Shadows of brilliant ways will change all the time
Memories, burning gold memories
Gold of day memories change me in these times
Somewhere there is some place, that one million eyes can't see
And somewhere there is someone, who can see what I can see
Someone, Somewhere In Summertime
Someone, Somewhere In Summertime
Someone, Somewhere In Summertime

Stay, I'm burning slow
With me in the rain, walking in the soft rain
Calling out my name
See me burning slow
Moments burn, slow burning golden nights
Once more see city lights, holding candles to the flame
Brilliant days, wake up on brilliant days
Shadows of brilliant ways will change me all the time
Somewhere there is some place, that one million eyes can't see
And somewhere there is someone, who can see what I can see
Someone, Somewhere In Summertime
Someone, Somewhere In Summertime
Someone, Somewhere In Summertime
Someone, Somewhere In Summertime

For many years I thought I found this "someone" in my wife. But now I know that was an illusion, and an illusion I helped craft. Tonight I heard a song on one of my newer CDs titled “Use Somebody” that reminded me that I am still searching. It is a song by Kings of Leon, a band from Tennessee that is more popular in the UK than here. I never was really into them; I did see them open for R.E.M. once. But this song captured my feelings. I may never find this woman. Maybe it is just an illusion. Maybe, like the premise of “The Ex-List” this person was already in my life and I failed to recognize her. Or maybe you only get one shot. I don’t know. But for now I will keep looking.

I've been roaming around always looking down at all I see
Painted faces fill the places I can't reach
You know that I could use somebody
You know that I could use somebody
Someone like you and all you know and how you speak
Countless lovers under cover of the street
You know that I could use somebody
You know that I could use somebody
Someone like you
Off in the night while you live it up I'm off to sleep
Waging wars to shake the poet and the beat
I hope it's gonna make you noticeI hope it's gonna make you notice
Someone like me
Someone like me
Someone like me

I've been roaming around always looking down at all I see.


I don’t know who this “somebody” is; I just hope there is a “somebody” for “someone like me.”