Whither the Dance Crew?

A lot of people have been asking me about the status of the ACME Dance Crew. OK, perhaps not actual people but the voices in my head. OK, perhaps not those voices, but the parking garage machines (walk up to them and they will talk to you – try it). Admittedly I have been neglecting the Crew in favor of my political campaign work. But subconsciously I fear it is the realization that even if I was George Balanchine (and some have made such a comparison) I could not mold this motley crew into a VH-1-worthy dance crew much less a MTV one. This is not to say that there is not talent on this crew – the CD&S Czar and the Daughter of the CD&S Star are classically and Riverdance -trained respectively, but I have to bring the other Gomer Pyle-eque talents to their level before I can tap into the talents of the two stars. And to say it creates choreographical challenges is an understatement. Even worse is the time pressure; HMIII drops in a couple of weeks and as with the prior versions, it will define dance for the next year. Who knows what radical moves and staging to expect – pirouettes in the locker room? A West Side Story-invoking scene in the detention hall? A conga line during Spirit Week? And what about the costumes? What will be this year’s low rise jeans or pajama pants? I have been trying to recruit the one person who can meet all these challenges – yes, Mischa Baryshnikov, but he seems to have fallen off the face of the earth. And, of course, the seminal dancer/choreographer who created “Step Up” Ms. Paula Abdul is still amazingly plugging ahead on American Idol. At best I can hope the ADC will have a year like the Broncos – lucky calls, puff opponents leading into a “winning” season.