Friday, December 25, 2009
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Seriously?!
A tabloid reporter was hounding Elin outside a Thai restaurant in Orlando. One of the questions asked was “How do you feel about his 14 mistresses?” What answer did the reporter expect? Did he think she would say:
“I don’t know them too well, but I am getting to know more about them, and the more I hear, the more I like them. I can see what Tiger saw in each and every one of them. I hope to grow closer to them and perhaps start a book or knitting club with them.”
And speaking of book clubs, Tiger blew his chance to be the next Oprah. Apparently a book that was seen in the pictures of the front seat of his wrecked car shot up the chart on Amazon. The book was a physics book.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Jersey Shore
I don’t know how MTV does it, but they have come up with another guilty pleasure that is more addictive than sugar. Jersey Shore is not a reality show; it is an anthropological study of the species known as the Guido.
According to Wikipedia:
"Guido" (or "Gino") is a slang term for a lower class or working class urban Italian American. The Guido stereotype is often portrayed as humorously thuggish with an overtly macho attitude. The time period in which it obtained this meaning is not clear, but it was certainly in use with this meaning by the early part of the 21st century.
The MTV reality show Jersey Shore is based on eight people in Seaside Heights, New Jersey who are referred to as "guidos." Originally named Guido Beach, the name was changed after objections from Italian-American organizations including the National Italian American Foundation. The people in this reality show use the term with pride to describe themselves. Females on the show refer to themselves as "guidas" or "guidettes".
From what I can ascertain on the show, guidos and guidas are the horniest mammals around. It seems they are constantly in mating mode and every trip to a nightclub leads to numerous, interconnected hook-ups. The guidas get very jealous when the guidos go mating in another tribe and they get very protective of their turf, which in this case is the communal hot tub.
I am truly amazed and fascinated. I have had tons of friends from Jersey and I have never experienced this subspecies. All I can say is that Marlon Perkins would have had a field day with them. And they make the Real World characters seem chaste in comparison.
Monday, December 14, 2009
So you want to go to law school . . .
Thursday, December 10, 2009
You might as well face it, he’s . . .
. . . addicted to sex. Is Tiger Woods a sex addict? The Today Show seems to think so even going to the lengths of interviewing Sex Rehab Dr. Drew Pinsky. The running count of mistresses is at nine, and two of them are apparently adult film stars. According to a video on TMZ, one of the adult film stars says she was the one “picked” by Tiger to go into his bedroom during his bachelor party. She said he was very polite and a gentleman; so I guess his parents did raise him well. :)
As we learn more and more, the odds of his marriage and/or endorsements surviving this are growing slimmer and slimmer.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Latest 911 Call from the Woods Residence
911 Operator: Hello, 911 Operator here.
Caller: Woof, wooof, woofa, woo, Tony the Tiger, woof, wookie, wook. (Translation: Hello, this is Tony the Tiger, Tiger’s dog. Yeah, I know, he is really creative with pet names, NOT!!!).
911 Operator: What is the emergency?
Caller: Woof, wook, cook, look, @$%#! woof, wooo, woooooof, woof! (Translation: Please get me out of this [Jerry] house right now! The people here are either cheatin’, poppin’, screamin’, or faintin’.)
911 Operator: Sorry, with our recent budget cuts, and with Tiger’s money being offshore and therefore untaxable, we have no canine-trained EMTs.
Caller: Woof, wooof, woo, woof, woofa, wfado, wooff woofof woof! (Translation: What kind of third world gated community is this? I got better treatment when Kultida took me to Thailand. At least can you send me some Kibble & Bits – no one has gone to buy dog food in days. I am sick of eating those golf club covers).
L.A. Sizzle
I have been to Beverly Hills and Melrose (both drive-bys) and they are certainly worlds apart. But last night on the CW they combined for an incendiary two hours of tv watching. The first week of December is the end of putative fall tv season and all the shows have a quasi-cliffhanger until they return in January or later. On 90210, the cliffhanger was not that great, but all that came before it was. Old couples reigniting; new ones fading; a drug dealer exposed; one addiction ending; a new one beginning. I was not satisfied with one plot development which left me with a sour taste, but leave it to Melrose to sweeten things up. After weeks of snail-like development, the floodgates are opened – engagement ended; passion ignited; murderer uncovered and then taken for a dip; and an unexpected twist. 2010 should be a huge year for both shows – it brings back memories of the heyday of the original shows (when they were back-to-back).
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Food for Thought
Human Rights For Men and Women in Intimate Relationships
The right to share equally with your partner all decisions and responsibilities related to your relationship, children, home and finances.
The right to share equally with your mate in all financial decisions.
The right to have friendships outside of your relationship as long as you do not violate the privacy of your relationship with your partner.
The right to express your opinion and then be given the same respect and consideration as those of your mate.
The right to have and express your sexual needs and desires without feeling like you are selfish, demanding, or aggressive.
The right to have your emotional, physical and intellectual needs be as important as the needs of your mate.
The right to expect your mate to do his/her part to resolve difficulties to your relationship.
The right to hold your mate responsible for his or her behavior rather than assuming that responsibility yourself.
The right to seek professional help with your relationship.
The right never to be physically attacked or emotionally degraded by your mate and the right to end the relationship (and to seek safety), if either occurs.
The right to expect significant behavioral changes rather than apologies and promises from your partner if a single battering incident occurs.
The right to not blame yourself if the relationship in which you have invested so much love and effort ends.
Monday, December 7, 2009
A Second Cup and a Second Chance
I am all about second chances so I decided to afford Perky Cups a second chance. I did not anticipate offering it a second chance but I happened to be judging a debate tournament at a high school that was about 500 yards away from the strip mall housing Perky Cups so I decided to stop by.
What a difference in service this time around. I was greeted when I walked in, and both the barista and cashier were friendly (and, of course, decked out in their bikini tops even though the temperature was in the teens). And while I was a bit concerned when the barista told the cashier she had never made a cappuccino before (which was my order), and even though the cashier gave me the wrong pastry from the pastry case, all worked out well as the cappuccino was very good (apparently they use Peaberry coffee). There was only other customer other than myself so if you are interested in giving Perky Cups a chance, you should head there soon.
Friday, December 4, 2009
Remembering the Salahis
Hey, Men, Get Your Boobs Out! -- The Cut
This may be the most staggering (and possibly disturbing) development in men's fashion since the invention of man spankx a/k/a mankx. Is the world really ready for men's cleavage? Is the world really ready for hairy cleavage (or are men supposed to start waxing their cleavage)? Will husbands/boyfriends be fighting with their wives/girlfriends for use of the Miraculous Bra?
All in the Family
Kimberly Harris, the sister of Jarius Adams, who called 911, told troopers that Woods' mother, Kultida, and mother-in-law, Barbro Holmberg, were at the scene. This little nugget of info, as with everything in this case, raises more questions than answers. One, is Barbro an actual name? Two, do mothers live with Tiger and Elin, and, if so, how come they did not hear the commotion inside the house (apparently Kultida was overheard asking “What is going on?”)? Is Tiger’s house so big (a la the Shanahan house) that neither Kultida or Barbro could hear anything? Why didn’t Tiger go run behind his mother as opposed to going outside (Kultida looks like she is a tough cookie)? Did Earl ever cheat on Kultida? If so, did Kultida turn the other cheek?
Also, per ESPN, Thursday, Rachel Uchitel, a New York nightclub hostess who has denied having an affair with Woods, had scheduled a news conference with her attorney in Los Angeles. But attorney Gloria Allred canceled that appearance Thursday morning, citing unforeseen circumstances. She earlier had planned to make a statement about Uchitel's relationship with Woods. Again more questions? If there, was in fact, no relationship between Urkel and Tiger, what more is there to say about it? That they were pen pals? They liked to talk about stamp collecting? And, at this point, what circumstances could possibly be “unseen”. Were “Inside Edition” and “Access Hollywood” putting in last minute bids to secure the non-story about the non-relationship?
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
The TK Staff . . .
Is Tiger the New Wilt?
24-year-old Jaimee Grubbs, who recently appeared on VH1's dating show 'Tool Academy.' Grubbs claims that she and Tiger participated in a 31-month fling together. Us, which will hit newsstands on Wednesday, is reporting that Grubbs and Woods engaged in 20 sexual encounters.
She allegedly has more than 300 text messages from Woods, as well as a voicemail in which Tiger discusses how his wife may have found out about their affair, Us reports.
"The Tiger story has gone nuclear," says David Perel, executive vice president of RadarOnline.com. "The early morning accident has triggered a flood of information regarding Tiger and other women, and by the end of this week, there are going to be at least one other woman -- possibly even more -- on the record alleging a sexual affair with the golfing great."
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Friends Don’t Let Friends Drive . . .
. . . shoeless. This nugget has flown under the radar in the whole Crouching Tiger, Hidden Elin drama. According to TMZ:
Tiger was wearing shorts, a t-shirt and no shoes. It's illegal in Florida to drive without shoes.
Read more: http://www.tmz.com/2009/11/30/tiger-woods-accident-eye-witness-account-elin-nordegren/#ixzz0YRyhZTLs
Now, generally a person going at 2 in the morning to get milk or diapers for the kids would wear shoes. A person would race out and drive without shoes only if they were fleeing someone or something . . . perhaps a golf club?!
As a public service message, the Blog urges everyone to drive with shoes. Driving without shoes is just as dangerous as texting while driving.
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