On Birth and Man

As a novice blogger, one thing I do not fear is ever running out of material. In addition to the world, which provides juicy stories every day, I have my network of friends who generate items as well (I still have in reserve stories about the relaxing vacation Mary is about to embark upon and the story of how Non-Blonde Elle fell into the Potomac after bring a Good Samaritan). For instance, a mere week in Dagwood’s life is filled with volumes of stories. If you are like me, you often wonder how Dagwood painted himself into a corner where he has to forego a Saturday morning basketball game with the guys to watch the kids while Blondie does yoga. But the more stories you hear, the more apparent the reason. For instance, when his wife went into labor with their first child, and was ready to head to the hospital, Dagwood had returned home from some sweat-inducing activity, presumably basketball. He asked Blondie if they could delay the hospital trek until he took a shower. Now we could spend days discussing the flaws in this request, but the most subtle but perhaps yet most poignant one is that it is a given that women after delivering are not in prime glamour mode. Yeah, yeah, there are all those statements about them “glowing” but I think even they would admit that it is rare that a woman has anything approaching a glamorous post-delivery picture moment. Their hair is disheveled, all their glands are in overload including their sweat ones; in short, they mimic the appearance of their husbands in the high school/collegiate years (unwashed, ball cap on head, wearing a sweatshirt, etc.) Digression Point – You know I think there could be a real market for hospitals providing something akin to a spa treatment after delivery. After all the baby is shipped out to be cleaned up, so why not use this time to clean up the mother? If the Jacuzzi has not been used as part of the childbirth process she could soak in it a while and then have her nails and hair done by one of the gift shop personnel now trained in beauty treatments. End Digression Point. So here Dagwood is asking for the opportunity to clean up not realizing that the woman he impregnated and caused to endure the pains of labor will not have such an opportunity. Given this, perhaps he has gotten off lightly with the yoga. And that is even before taking into consideration that on the second delivery, Dagwood was at a luncheon with his cell phone turned off, with Blondie frantically trying to get a hold of him.