On Thongs

By now many of you may heard about the “Thong” litigation. If you have not, do a Google Search on it as this Blog is not a news service. Please make sure you do the Google Search at work. At any rate, the “Thong” case is poised to become a seminal case in products liability, a case that will live forever in law school textbooks. In fact, I anticipate this case will make it all the way up to the Supreme Court. I anticipate the oral argument will go something like this:

CJ Roberts: I know a defective thong when I see it and this is not a defective thong (ironically, no one has actually seen the thong in question since the incident since the Plaintiff refuses to produce it).

J. Scalia: I have scoured The Federalist Papers and find no mention of this thing called a “thong”. Therefore, I can find no original intent on this issue. Since the authority of the federal government rests on enumerated powers, this is an issue reserved to state governments.

J. Breyer: Not so fast, Tony. We must identify the prurient interest.

J. Thomas: Normally, I would agree with Tony but I would not mind examining the thong, I mean, the issue some more.

J. Ginsburg: While the antiquated cooling system in this antiquated building generally leads me to go au naturel I do on occasion sport a thong and find them to be quite pliable.

Seriously, though, I think the Plaintiff faces a proof issue. There seem to be a myriad of situations that could lead to a flying object from said thong. For instance, if a guy was assisting in the removal it could have been an inartful removal. Or perhaps they were using it as a Frisbee. Or perhaps the guy thought it was cute for him to try it on. Certainly since strict liability would not likely attach to the thong, Plaintiff would be hard pressed to establish “but for” causation.

All this talk about thongs leads me to raise another pressing issue of our times: women wearing boy shorts. Isn’t it bad enough that women foray into their significant other’s closets and appropriate their clothing? Now there is a whole product segment of “boy shorts” for women. Doesn’t this needlessly invoke troubling memories from high school phys ed classes? When this occurs should the guy start a spontaneous game of dodge ball in the boudoir? And if a guy finds a woman wearing boy shorts attractive is he harboring some homoerotic thoughts?
Finally, a story straight from today’s headlines. A woman was stuck on a mountain ledge with no help in sight. She found a supply line and attached her sports bra to it and waved it. Lo and behold a male ranger found her.