I Was Assaulted By Dinger

Last night, as I was exiting Coors Field after viewing yet another pathetic Rockies performance, Dinger (note: I am not changing his name to protect the innocent) was walking in. A couple of kids in front of me raised their hands and Dinger high-fived him. I refused to raise my hand and commenced walking past him while his hand was still raised. He then proceeded to give me a pat on the back (I will term it a "vicious slap" in my complaint). Perhaps he recognized me from his "appearance" in the 1801 Lobby/Plaza (yes, there is no depths to which he will not sink). At any rate, I will sue him and the Rockies for a lifetime supply of Blue Moon or an ownership interest in the team.