It Was a Sad Night on the CWTV Part Deux

Dan and Serena broke up – for the fourth time (they are either channeling Richard Burton and Liz Taylor or Ryan and Marissa from The OC). They love each other, but Dan has a tough time dealing with the fact that Serena is rich and therefore can have any problem solved with a snap of a finger. Apparently Dan has not heard of the concept of a sugar mama, and a hot one at that. Meanwhile, Blair loves the Duke’s son (royalty not John Wayne and not Coach K) but fears their relationship may be sexless as many royal relationships are. Conveniently there is a blackout in NYC, so she whispers in the Duke’s ear for him to meet her in the boudoir. Instead the slimy Chuck goes up there and sports a horrible English accent fooling her into believing he is the Duke. Or is she fooled? The passions flow and conveniently enough the lights come back on and there are Chuck and Blair going at it like prairie dogs in NoBo, and, of course, the Duke walks in. Meanwhile Nate must choose between Vanessa, the gal from Brooklyn, or the Duchess who has been his sugar mama. I guess Manhattan has the highest per capita sugar mama population.

Then on One Tree Hill, the hill loses a tree. Not literally, mind you, otherwise there would be no trees on the hill. One of the characters is gunned down, and his death allows CWTV to feature every melancholy song released in the last six months. And all the Hillers continue to think Brooke got her two black eyes, sunken eye sockets, and bruises over her arms and back from a bumping into a door. Meanwhile psycho woman holds psycho grandfather hostage in hope she can kidnap the grandfather’s cute grandson to make up for the death of her child.

STAY TUNED.