Al Admits to Another Affair

Al Gore, likely feeling that the distractions of the Olympics and conventions have made it prime politician confession time, has admitted that he has had an ongoing torrid love affair with himself. The affair has lasted for over 50 of his 60 years on this planet, but really rose to new heights during the past two decades. He said, “I invented the Internet, won the popular vote for the Presidency, and am about to save the world, I cannot imagine a better soulmate than myself.” He has not admitted the affair to Tipper, but figures she suspects. She has been busy with bailing Al Jr. out of his many “issues” (on a related note, Al has petitioned a Tennessee court to rename Al Jr. so that the “Al Gore” name will not be tarnished). Al stated that he has tried to end the affair on numerous occasions, but, as he lamented, “I just can’t quit myself.”