Obama Poised to Make a Fateful Decision

Sen. Barack Obama, and his wife, are poised to make one of the most significant decisions of their lifetime. It is a decision that may have ramifications for years to come. They are poised to pick a new . . . laundry detergent. Sen. Obama said, “Michelle and I have been both dissatisfied with our current detergent.” He added, “we need something with more zest and something that will diversify and intensify our own natural scent while at the same time not providing much of a distraction.” The detergents have been thoroughly vetted including use on challenging cleaning scenarios such as an unwashed t-shirt worn by a campaign intern for 30 consecutive days, an undershirt worn by the Senator during a day that took him through the humid south, and delicates designed by Michelle Obama herself. The campaign has been characteristically mum on the source, only stating that the big reveal will be made at a Laundromat in Hyde Park where Sen. Obama used to wash his clothes when he was a community organizer. Reporters were resigned to scouring local supermarket shelves to see which detergents have been purchased. Stay tuned to Curling Today for updates on the story.