Friday, August 8, 2008
Law Students for McCain Spring Into Action
The McCain Campaign today announced the formation of a team that they feel will turn the tide in the election. The Law Students for McCain, headed by the Non-Blonde Elle and Joe Rove, officially commenced operations today. The “Law Studs” as they are called will be focusing on such crucial electoral issues as whether Mrs. McCain’s compelled entry into the Miss Sturgis contest by her husband can serve as automatic grounds for divorce and vitiate any monies to which Sen. McCain would otherwise be entitled to under the pre-nuptial agreement he executed at the request of his wife and whether they can enjoin Paris Hilton from calling him the “old, white-haired guy.”
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Yes, and I have a plan. First, all efforts will be made to keep the Clintons and Obamas from showing any true uniformity. This is done by simply letting Mr. Clinton speak and leaking that Hilary is going to be the VP, and then watching her implode into a neutron star when she is not chosen. Second, I will come up with a concrete like argument for Georgia's admission to NATO and an even more convincing argument that all Russian politicians are actually aliens and must be taken out of power and sent back to their home planets (or any other more cost effective place). These bold tactics will lead us to victory in '08.
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